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Archive for March, 2010

i don’t know what kind of feeling
so abstract till i cannot understand

maybe i am too shy to admit it
maybe my protection is too tight
maybe i am afraid of falling down
maybe it’s better to pretend
maybe i am afraid of facing the reality
maybe this kind of situation will be much better
maybe i should keep my word
maybe it’s just temporary

but i have already felt it
cant stop smiling
cant stop thinking “it”
cant stop every conversation
cant hide how happy i am
cant pretend how i need “it”

i just realize that i start to depend on ‘it”
and this is my DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE

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quotes of mine

“it’s a journey, we visit a place and find something new, then we’ll leave the city to look for other things that we’ve not known yet”

“trusting your instinct and believe in yourself”

“you’ve changed the black of mine to be this beautiful rainbow color”

“challenges are created to improve human skill, don’t worry to much”

“be thankful for everything that you’ve got, and you will understand this wonderful life”

“finding a friend like searching shoes to fit on yours, but finding a boyfriend/girlfriend like searching a piece of losing puzzle to complete you”

“i prefer choosing what i want to what i need, because i search happiness in this world”

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the pictures were taken when we would graduate from SMA 3 bdg. we named ours as “gank sampah” because we love doing silly things. how i miss them so bad, even some of us study in ITB but we have a lack of time to meet..

and in college, I also find fabulous friends
they are new home for me because we are far from our families
doing silly together, laugh, study, complain, tears ,cry have fulfilled our friendship for these last 2,5 years

i’m very blessed to have friends like you guys 🙂

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nothing to do

i don’t have anything to do this night
actually, i’ve planed to study investment management as preparation for my middle-test next week
but, the plan is ruin by my lazy-mood and solitude feeling hehehe

so, i choose to write blog than i’m tortured with the loneliness
i’m so sorry if this blog is ngalor-ngidul and full of complaining
because i just need to express what i feel and there wont be any point from this post hehe

it’s sunday night, that means i should go back to my activity tomorrow
to be honest, i am bored with my activities
especially my boring internship where there is nothing to do and just sit down for 8 hours/day
and my internship is still 7 weeks to go (please just fast-forward this part)
i want my college life back, please…
i’ve just realized that school is much better than working

and tonight i feel solitude
my friends are too busy with their things, so do my siblings
adi usually accompanies me in the night with bbm or ym
but today, his BIS is unactivated and he is not home
so, here i am. feeling solitude because no one to have talk with
hmm i want to call someone but i dont know whom
i want to have chat/ym/sms but there is no interested-people in my online list
i want to study, but my brain is not ready enough

i’m very labil this night
too lazy to do anything
feel boring with all the things around me
i want to something new, i want holiday please…
or you, just go home soon to make the black of mine to be rainbow color

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